Early BDSM
As you could well imagine, Dominance and submission (D/s) has been apart of nature ever since the Phanerozoic Era’s. Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” evolutionary theory is itself a form of D/s after all. However, when including the elements of Bondage and Discipline (B&D), and Sadism and Masochism (S&M), to the search for an origin of erotic D/s, it appears our ancestors from Ancient times were as kinky as we are today.
Whilst there are numerous references to flagellation (the flogging or beating, either as a religious discipline or for sexual gratification) throughout history, the most notable archeological discovery is the Tomba della Fustigazione (Tomb of the Whipping) in Tarquinia, Italy dating back to 490 BC. Amongst the many illustrations discovered in the tomb, which was discovered and excavated in 1960 by Carlo Maurilio Lerici, is the erotic depiction of a female submissive being flagellated by two Dominant’s, one using a cane/whip and the other using his bare hand.
The word Sadomasochism is a blending of Sadism and Masochism and are terms created by the 19th century German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing, author of Psychopathia Sexualis. Krafft-Ebing coined the terms Sadism Masochism after the 18th century French Nobleman and author, Donation Alphonse Francois, Marquis de Sade and 19th century Austrian Nobleman and author, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Donation Alphonse Francois, Marquis de Sade
The life of Marquis de Sade is a very interesting read. A scandalous libertarian, Marquis was imprisoned frequently for his writings, accusations of mistreatment by prostitutes of both sexes, and even blasphemy. Marquis de Sade was also sentenced to multipul insane asylums, his last by order of Neopolian. This was commonly due to the nature of his writings and illustrations.
Marquis de Sade once said “It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure”. An accusation made by a housekeeper insinuated that Marquis had ripped her clothes from her person, tied her, face down, by her wrists and ankles to each leg of a divan couch and preceded to whip her. Then, she alleges, Marquis made incisions on her body in which he then poured hot wax into. Investigators could not find any incisions on the woman the next day, so no further action was taken. Marquis also once cheated death when the father of one of his female servants confronted him about his relations with her. The pistol that the father drew upon Marquis misfired.
In Marquis de Sade’s time, his writings and illustrations were extremely daring during the Reign of Terror in France. Today, they’re the foundation of Sadism in BDSM. Consenting adults whom safely practice this aspect of BDSM can enjoy fulfilling their desires without fear of the consequences that Marquis faced.
19th Century Author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch 1836–1895
Masochism, the other term invented by German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing, is derived from the name of 19th century author, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Sacher-Masoch did not approve of this use of his name. Sacher-Macho actually lived out his fantasy, what would later become his novel, with another author by the name of Fanny Pistor. Pistor was an emerging author whom contacted Sacher-Masoch, using the fictitious name and title of Baroness Bogdanoff, for assistance with her writings to make them more desirable for publication. Sacher-Masoch, although already married, fell for Fanny Pistor. In 1869, with Pistor already his Mistress, Sacher-Mascho signed a contract which made him her slave for 6 months. A condition within the contract was that Pistor would wear Furs, especially when in a cruel mood. As both were famous for their writings in their home country of Austria, they traveled by train to Venice, Italy where they were not known and could play out their contract without attracting attention. Sacher-Masoch posed as the ‘Baroness’s servant ‘Gregor’ and traveled in third class whilst Pistor traveled in first class. Sacher-Masoch would detail their adventure in his famous novel Venus in Furs.
Fanny Pistor and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
In his novel Venus of Furs, Sacher-Masoch writes about Severin, a man who desires to be the slave of Wanda and also desires to be whipped. Sacher-Masoch writes “I imagine that the goddess of Love has come down from Olympus to visit a mortal. So as not to die of cold in this modern world of ours, she wraps her sublime body in great heavy furs and warms her feet on the prostrate body of her lover. I imagine the favorite of this beautiful despot, who is whipped when his mistress grows tired of kissing him, and whose love only grows more intense the more he is trampled underfoot. I shall call the picture “Venus in Furs”. As the story goes on, Wanda’s treatment of Severin grows more brutal and humiliating, “I take a cruel joy in seeing you tremble and writhe beneath my whip, and in hearing your groans and wails; I want to go on whipping without pity until you beg for mercy, until you lose your senses”. Wanda goes to the extent of recruiting 3 African women to further Dominant himself
Severin’s submission comes to a crushing end when Wanda herself chooses another man, submitting to him, “I can easily imagine belonging to one man for my entire life, but he would have to be a whole man, a man who would dominate me, who would subjugate me by his innate strength. And every man — I know this very well — as soon as he falls in love becomes weak, pliable, ridiculous. He puts himself into the woman’s hands, kneels down before her. The only man whom I could love permanently would be he before whom I should have to kneel”.
BDSM in Modern Times
In today’s day and age, there is no set requirement that qualifies you as a practitioner of BDSM. It really is you’re either straight up vanilla, or you have a kink of some sort. It’s more a question of to what depth does your kinks run, rather than am I into BDSM? There are so many subcultures of BDSM out there today. There’s a high possibility you’re going to find you have at least one kink, or are at least curious about one, that you may or may not be aware of. BDSM is the self exploration and discovery of your true self, emotionally, psychologically, and physically.
Whilst there is no singular correct way to practice BDSM, there are, however, a few constant traits that are the foundation of BDSM.
Trust. Trust. Trust. This is at the absolute core of a couple who enjoy the tremendous dynamic of a D/s relationship. A true Dominant will recognise it is actually the submissive whom holds control ultimately, the Dominant simply controls the submissive within her/his limits. The submissive must have absolute trust in her/his Dominant, that the Dominant will not impose their will upon them in any way that is outside their hard limits. Make it clear what your soft and hard limits are during the establishment of trust phase.
Consensual, safe, and sane. Why is trust listed before consensual, safe, and sane practice of BDSM I hear you ask? Well, if you don’t feel like you trust your partner 100%, then you should not be considering consensual BDSM with them. Unfortunately, there are cases of curious submissive’s who’ve been targeted by domineering predators. Their first experience is horrific, because the fake dominant does not respect the established hard limits of the submissive. This scars them, depriving them of a life time of exploring their natural desires. Make your potential Dominant earn your trust first, then consent. Your true Dominant will wait for you.
Respect your nature. Whether you’re Dominant or submissive, always treat this roll with respect. This not only shows your partner you respect them and their position within the dynamic you share, but also that you acknowledge and respect your true self. At times it may be hard to admit to yourself what your kink/s are due to society’s opinion. This is where having absolute trust in your partner is also important. You help each other grow and fulfil your deepest desires. Ultimately, the goal is to build your relationship to where you both bear your souls to each other. True freedom is within a healthy D/s realtionship.
If you’ve read this far, then you have amazing BDSM experiences ahead of you, if you aren’t already involved in a Dominance and submissive relationship of sorts. Remember, keep it safe, trustful, and embrace your true self. Explore your desires and you’ll discover a new confidence in all aspects of your sexual lives